I think taking children to the grocery store should have a warning label, you know, like cigarettes. Except this should say: "Warning, taking children to the grocery store can be dangerous to your mental health." Or perhaps: "Warning, taking children shopping can raise your blood pressure." Although to be fair, we ought to have this one too: "Warning, taking men to the grocery store can destroy your food budget."
Anyway, knowing this I still took the children with me to Sam's Club and WalliMart today after the summer movie morning. Hey, a woman's got to have ingredients in order to cook dinner! Levi, Ellie and Lia were with me (yes three is easier at the store than five, I can actually get groceries in the cart that way). Levi and Ellie were having a giggle and farting (excuse the language) fest. They couldn't quit tickling and running and making each other laugh. At one point they landed on Ellie's back, flat on the floor, with Levi on top of her. How it happened I believe was a mystery to them as well. The astounded looks on their faces told me that much.
If this chaos and constant giggling wasn't enough entertainment for fellow shoppers, they also decided to "toot" at each other, with their mouths (I hope). They timed it perfectly so that passing shoppers could share in the noise, and perhaps smell, of their enjoyment. Such considerate children.
So after a movie, two stores and lunch at Sam's, I wondered about my own sanity. Lia, the baby and the one expected to "toot" in public, showed the most decorum and refrained from such lapses in manners. She didn't once cry, scream or pout or even ask for all the sugar cereals. She smiled on cue at passing shoppers and probably was responsible for our safe passage through the store. I swear I saw a lady on isle ten hefting a can a beans to throw at me, until Lia smiled at her. Maybe that label should say: "Warning, if you are stupid enough to take children to the store, bring an adorable baby to avoid bodily harm."